Date Almost Anything Sim

Author: Huegor

Availability: Free, Download

Format: Visual Novel

Genre: Waste of Time

Rating: Teen

Found at Itch.io

My Scores (Out of 5):

Writing: 1

Art: 2

Gameplay: 1

Romance: 0

Review

I'm going to forgo my usual template and just come right out with one question: What is so offensively awful about wanting to play a dating sim, that someone out there feels compelled to release a Hate Letter about it?

This “game” is a waste of time. It even gloats that it is a waste of time, and it chides you for wasting your time playing games instead of achieving important things in life. Well, I have news for this author and anyone else with the same mentality: Playing a dating sim is not the same thing as wasting your entire life. Sometimes people come home from a long day at either work or school and want to veg out, either with a movie, book, or—yes, even a dating sim. It's natural; it's healthy. Do you know what happens to people who constantly work with no rest? They burn out. They're the people who die at age forty with a pile of wealth and no friends. They're the people who spend all their hard-earned cash on therapists because they can't be satisfied with all they've achieved in life. You should never be vilified for just wanting some entertainment.

Not only is it important to take a break, no matter what your routine or goals in life, but it's especially important to experience something positive, like a funny story or a smile from a loved one. Date Almost Anything Sim presented itself as something positive, both intentionally and possibly unintentionally. Intentionally, it presented itself as a dating sim, which usually allows players to experience a work of fiction with a happy ending (or at least a satisfying catharsis, in the case of tragedies). Personally, I expected a surreal comedy based on the idea of literally dating anything, from mermaids to muffins. Comedy causes laughter, which improves health and raises life expectancy. Furthermore, experiencing something creative can help improve your own mind, which is why literature, art, and music are vitally important to any school's curriculum. When I see something that is outside of my usual experiences, by however much, my mind expands and I become enriched as a person, able to consider more possibilities and adapt quicker to new ideas.

Fiction is valid. Fiction is important. It doesn't matter if that fiction is a horror novel, a cartoon about ponies, or a computer dating sim. Whenever an author shares their work with you, they are sharing their knowledge and experiences, however indirectly. When Hans Christian Andersen wrote The Little Mermaid, he shared not just a fantasy story, but the pain of unrequited love and a warning about throwing everything away on someone who may not even return your feelings. Uncle Tom's Cabin helped the Abolitionist movement by forcing many to see Black people as characters instead of props for the first time. Mad Max: Fury Road caused a backlash in the MRA because it supposedly lured male audience members in with cars and explosions only to subject them to feminist ideas. Are you seeing the pattern, here? Sharing a work of fiction is as much an exchange of ideas as debating with someone face to face, even if the idea is that there is no order to the universe (look up Dada, for example).

So, yes, I was hoping to spend a little time, out of my busy life, playing a dating sim. Is this a waste of my time? Only if the author, like here, deliberately makes it so. Even then, I won't call this a waste, since it directly led to me putting into words something that I've long believed and that I think others should know, especially anyone out there who needs to feel validated about their hobby. This means that Date Almost Anything Sim has failed on every front:

1.  The writing is stupid, and one should never use emoticons in dialog for these games since, A) nobody is hearing the words semi-colon, letter u, semi-colon, and B) Facial expressions are what the art is for.
2. The artwork is lazy, using photographed backgrounds and outright fading to black for some segments.
3. The game is boring, giving me flashbacks to my first job, and the Options and About sections of the menu are poorly coded.
4. The author wanted to waste my time and then make me feel bad about it. See the above essay. I rest my case.

Magical Makeover

Author: S. Woodson

Availability: Free, Download/Online

Format: Twine

Genre: Humor/Fantasy

Rating: Teen

Found at ifdb.tads.org or jayisgames.com

My Scores (Out of 5):

Writing: 4

Art: N/A

Gameplay: 2.5

Romance: N/A

Summary

In Magical Makeover, you have managed to get an invitation to Princess Philantha's Grand Equinox Ball! (Specifically, you've managed to get Dame Demetria's invitation to the ball. But never mind.) Once you're inside the palace, you plan to search for the legendary, wish-granting golden cassowary! Only, just having the invitation isn't enough: Princess Philantha only permits the prettiest people to be present at her party, which means it's time for a makeover! What could go wrong?

Review

The Writing

It occurs to me that this is the second game I've reviewed where the protagonist is a lesbian, and in both cases, the games were text-only and her love-life was irretrievably in the toilet. Huh. This has no bearing on the rating, mind you; I just find it kind of odd, and if it happens again, I'll have to check TV Tropes to see if “love-lorn lesbian text adventure” is a thing.

Getting back on topic: the writing for this is both good and hilarious. The game is partly a send-up of the classic dress-up/hygiene flash games on the internet. Our protagonist is not especially pretty, and she knows she's not pretty, and people are all too glad to tell her she's not pretty. But, when her rather suspicious beauty-products turn her into freaky and unusual shapes, somehow this gets considered beautiful. Of course, the beauty treatments are only a means to an end, both in-game and in a meta sense: after your arrival at the party, the story branches off into narratives that have little to do with either beauty or the eyes of beholders, and everything to do with looking for the golden cassowary. In other words, “Come for the satire, stay for the adventure.”

The Gameplay

I think I would have liked this game better if it had more choices in the second half. As it is, only the makeover segment itself feels remotely like a game, with the scenes at the party playing out like a very long epilogue. The choice of beauty-products is what determines which story you get to read at the end. Your choice of clothes has no effect on it, though it does give you some flavor text on the bus and at the party, which I enjoy seeing.

TL;DR:

Magical Makeover is an entertaining interactive story that flips off beauty-obsession without making that its only point. While the first half feels more like a game, the latter half puts more emphasis on “story” than “interactive”. Still, the writing itself is often fun enough to hold this piece's head above water.

That's just my opinion, though. Do you think that this game is simply glamorous, or is it the weirdest thing you've ever seen? Tell us in the comments!

The Crossroads

Author: Seraphinite
Availability: Free, Download
Format: Visual Novel
Genre: Supernatural
Rating: Teen

Found at seraphinite.itch.io

My Scores (Out of 5):

Writing: 3
Art: 4
Gameplay: 3
Romance:  2.5  (“Simple fare, but not bad.”)

Summary

In The Crossroads, you are Tiana/Insert-Name-Here.  When your life starts crumbling around you, you suddenly get an opportunity to make a little money by house-sitting a mansion in the middle of nowhere.  Apparently, the mansion's ownership is in dispute, and this fact seems to have the mansion's only two staff members – the gardener and the steward – on edge.  But, what does any of it have to do with you or your presence here?”

Review

The Writing

One thing that sticks out about the writing is its use of sensory details.  While the prose in What's Your Name? tries to do the art's job for it by describing visuals, the writing in The Crossroads complements its art by describing things like taste, smell, or feel: things that the art can't really convey.  The result is a fuller, more rounded experience.

The story itself is simple and straight-forward: while the nature of the house and servants is concealed from the main character until the end, I wouldn't call its revelation a twist.  There are also no clear stakes until that revelation, and even then, whether those stakes seem high or low just depends on how you feel about the men's situation.  It's about as low-tension as Nacira, and whether this makes it calm and relaxing or dull and boring depends entirely on the player and their mood.

My only real complaint about the writing is that even though the guys have clearly defined and differing personalities, some sections of dialog are obviously copied and pasted from one character to the other.  This is most glaring at the end, when the PC's chosen suitor gives her the exposition.  Even their actions, before and after, are mirrored with no variation.  While I wouldn't describe either of them as being out of character in those moments, it still feels unfair to have them suddenly become interchangeable; a little flourish or two to remind us of their personalities would have made it better, and having the events unfold completely differently for each would have been best, I think.

The Art

It's wonderful to see hand-drawn backgrounds again, and both the backgrounds and the characters are beautifully done.  The art style here is more naturalistic, which is also pleasantly surprising.  I don't dislike the more anime/manga style that most of these games have, mind you; but after so many of them, it's good to be reminded that other art styles exist.

The music and sound effects were nice, but there were many points where all the sounds just ended, leaving dead air. It was a bit off-putting.  Also, the game uses an instrumental version of the song “Donna Nobis Pacem” (literally “Give Us Peace”) quite a bit.  The first time I heard it, it seemed thematically appropriate for the conversation being had; by the fifth time I heard it, I realized it was just “pretty harp music” for the game's score.  Ah, well.

The Gameplay

The Crossroads lets you customize your character's appearance a bit, with choices of skin tone, eye color, hair color, and freckles.  These choices show up in the CGs as well as your sprite, although the art gallery only displays the default version.

There is some shaping of the PC's personality, too, throughout the game.  Most of the choices seem to be about establishing your character's inner thoughts, which in turn affect how certain conversations unfold and how the suitors describe you.  While there are some obvious decisions on who to spend time with and whether to leave, I suspect the subtler ones are only for flavor and have little or no impact on the ending: you can be praised just as much for being optimistic as for being blunt and straight-forward.  Overall, this game seems to be more about the journey than the destination.

TL;DR:

The Crossroads is a nice little story with a very relaxed feel to it.  The art is lovely, though it doesn't indulge in any grand vistas, and the gameplay is satisfying with a lot of room for customizing the experience.  The experience is sweet, cozy, and doesn't overstay its welcome.

As usual, this is only my opinion: you may think this game is worth being cooped up in a house all day, or you might want to leave it and never look back.  Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments!

Ishara

Author: Happy Backwards
Availability: Free, Download
Format: Visual Novel (with turn-based combat)
Genre: Nautical, Fantasy
Rating: Teen

Found at happybackwards.com

My Scores (Out of 5):

Writing: 3.5
Art: 3.5
Gameplay: 3.5
Romance: 2.5 (“Meh, I suppose it's all right.”)

Summary

In Ishara, you are...Ishara.  Your family promised you a boat in exchange for severing all ties with them, but when you got enslaved and disappeared for five years, they figured you were dead and so reclaimed it.  Now, they plan to use it as your sister's dowry.  You, however, have other plans.

Review

The Writing

If I may start with the bad news, first: the English in this is awful!  “Guard” is constantly misspelled as “Garde”, tenses shift between present and past at the drop of a hat, and there's a shipload of grammar errors and missing words!  It was also difficult to get used to the sudden changes in POV: one minute we're in Ishara's head, the next, we're in Cendre's.  Since the narration is always in first person, it took me a minute to realize someone else was talking. (Thankfully, the character sprites help sort this out).

On the plus side, the story itself is good and very entertaining.  Talon's dialog is hilarious, yet she never comes across as a mere “comic relief”, being just as awesome and intimidating as Ishara, if not more so.  The back-story is heart-breaking, and the overall tale makes for a great discussion about standing by while  people in power do terrible things: do you keep your head down, buying a bit of temporary and unsure safety, or do you take a stand, causing the entire system to lock its aim onto you?  It's a question that will probably be important until the end of time.

The Art

The art is decent, and I like the music.  The main-menu has a nice water-color look to it.  I find it interesting that Ishara and her sister have both red hair and dark skin (with Grandmama's being even darker).  Since this is a fantasy world, it makes sense that racial traits could and would be mixed-and-matched (unless I've misunderstood and they're simply either biracial or deeply tanned).  Anyway, it's a welcome bit of variety, and I'm whipping out the “non-white protagonist” tag for it.

The Gameplay

For the most part, Ishara a very linear story.  There are very few choice points, one of which determines which story you follow, and one or two (depending on route) which determine how it ends.  There are also a couple bugs where the narration doesn't quite match up to what happened: If you choose to leave Cendre behind, for example, the story still describes her boarding the ship with you.  Considering how few branch points there are, this really should have been corrected.

The combat mechanism livens things up quite a bit.  This is the first visual novel I've ever played that includes such a thing, and I found myself getting kind of addicted.  Unlike most turn-based rpgs I've seen, not every party member gets a turn: rather, each team gets a turn.  This means you have to choose between attacking the enemy or healing a wounded party-member.  Also, since the stun effect only lasts for one turn, this makes the fight even more challenging.  I think the part of the combat that I like best is the AP system: each character has a certain amount of Action Points, and each of their skills cost a certain amount of points to use.  These points slowly regenerate over time, which means that you can have one character wailing on the enemy while another saves up for a group-wide effect.  It invites strategizing, rather than thoughtless spamming of an attack button.  Still, I was miffed that victory had no permanent results, instead only giving bonus AP in the next battle; perhaps I've been spoiled.

TL;DR

Ishara is a great story wrapped in awful grammar, and I don't just mean the pirate-speak.  The art and music are nice.  The gameplay is mostly linear, but has some very challenging combat scenes sprinkled throughout.  Overall, I give it a resounding “Yarrr!”

As usual, mateys, this be one lass's thoughts on the matter. Ye might thank the stars for this game, or ye might want to have it keel-hauled.  Hoist yer colors in the comment section! Yarr!

...I should never do that again.

Cinderella Phenomenon

Author: Dicesuki
Availability: Free, Download
Format: Visual Novel
Genre: Fantasy 
Rating: Teen

Found at dicesuki.itch.io OR Steam

My Scores (Out of 5):

Writing: 4.5
Art: 4.5
Gameplay: 4.5
Romance: 4 (“D'awww! A little bit tropey, but still very nice!”)

Summary

In Cinderella Phenomenon, you are Lucette/Insert-Name-Here, the cold-hearted crown princess of Angielle.  At least, you were the crown princess: it seems you've become the latest victim of the Fairy Tale Curse, which gives people curses based on well-known stories.  Your curse is based on Cinderella, only for you, it's reversed: you've gone from riches to rags, and you must complete three good deeds if you ever want to return to the palace.  Fortunately, you've found some new friends who are willing to help you, but it seems there's more going on than anyone wants to tell you...

Review

The Writing

I am starting to love the twisted fairy-tale genre.  Cinderella Phenomenon handles the source materials very cleverly by having them be in-universe inspirations for the curses; this allows the authors a lot of creative freedom.  Still, while most of the twists were great, I felt that the interpretations given to Peter Pan's “Neverland” and “Tinkerbell” were too much of a stretch.

One major brownie point I must award to this game is that it doesn't assume anything about the player's familiarity with any of the stories.  Rather, our heroine was explicitly never allowed to read fairy-tales growing up, and so other characters are forced to give her a quick recap of the relevant tale.  This allows the unfamiliar to learn the important details without slowing the pace too much for players who already know the story.

The story itself is complex and intriguing with a lot of emotional gut-punches.  I found myself becoming worried about the characters whenever they were in peril, and that right there is the hallmark of good writing.  Be fore-warned, though, that this story will do its best to make you cry.

Still, I do have a few nit-picks: there are one or two occasions where characters are clearly carrying the Idiot Ball™.  There are also a few fairly subtle grammatical mistakes sprinkled here and there in the script: mixed tenses, a character saying “violence does not beget violence” when she clearly means the opposite (and it's not sarcasm, either; just a mis-handled quote), that sort of thing.  A spell-checker would not have picked up on any of it.  I bring it up because...well, because I'm a nit-picky grammar nazi, but also because it's jarring, and whenever the text calls attention to itself with these kind of mistakes, it takes readers like me out of the story.

The Art

Right out of the starting gate, this game gets the player pumped up with an EPIC intro sequence featuring a song called Broken Cinderella.  I must say, though, that while I like the music and the lyrics individually, they just don't seem to mesh together quite right: something about the cadence feels off.  Still, it's beautifully done, and everything from the menu to the sprites to the cgs to the background music is absolutely gorgeous!

I also like how the stained-glass windows in the menu change when you win each character's route.  And how the character sprites “curtsy” for you.  And the expressions.  And the lighting changes.  And... a lot of other neat touches, actually. I do find it strange, though, that characters seem to wear their day-clothes to bed, including (in one case) a giant earring.  Do pajamas not exist, in this universe?

The Gameplay

First, let me gush about the back-button.  It seems like such a small thing, I know; but, so often, when I play these games, I click too fast and immediately think, “Dang!  What did that say?!  If only I could go back!”.  But in the opening tutorial (the existence of which is also a lovely touch), one of the first things the game tells you is “Here is a back-button!”  And there was much rejoicing.

Another much-appreciated mercy is the indicator that pops up when you make a correct choice for a given character's route.  Since the game is several hours long, this is a very welcome trouble-saver; though, if you prefer the challenge, this feature can be turned off in the settings.  In fact, doing so is necessary for one of the achievements.  Yes, there are achievements.

As for the game, proper: there are five love interests, all of whom are clearly spelled out for you.  Like with Frozen Essence, there is a common plot up until you choose a character's route, at which point the plots diverge wildly, changing how the villains' schemes unfold, which of them you end up facing, who lives or dies, and how the main conflict gets resolved.  It makes sense, in a chaos-butterfly kind of way.  Also, while the routes never truly meet up at any point, like they do in Requiem of the Abyss, they still acknowledge each other's plot points, which gives it at least some sense of unity.

TL;DR:

This game was backed on Kick-starter.  This means that the creators get paid and we get a fairly professional-quality game for the low, low cost of FREE.  While it's not completely flawless, it is definitely excellent in every way.  I could spend a few more paragraphs gushing about it, but really, that's time you and I could both be spending actually playing it.

Remember, though, that this is only my opinion.  You might think this game is something out of a fairy-tale, or your opinion might be more Grimm.  Share your thoughts in the comments!

Foo Foo

Author: Buster Hudson
Availability: Free, Download
Format: Text Game
Genre: Humor, Mystery, Fantasy / Literature
Rating: Teen

Found at ifdb.tads.org

My Scores (Out of 5):

Writing: 4
Art: N/A (Cover Art: 2.5)
Gameplay: 3.5
Romance: 2 (“Forget it, Jake; it's Fieldtown.”)

Summary

Foo Foo is, of all things, a hard-boiled P.I. mystery based on the nursery rhyme “Little Bunny Foo Foo”.  You play Good Fairy, a detective with the FPD who's been tasked with clearing the name of a repeat-offender who swears he really doesn't recall bopping anyone this time.  As you dig deeper, you unearth a conspiracy involving real estate deals, disappearing field mice, and illegal cheese; and somehow, your ex-girlfriend is mixed up in all of this.

Review

The Writing

It boggles the mind how Foo Foo manages to be so silly and so dramatic at the same time.  On the one hand, you're a fairy in glass shoes, dealing with cheese, stuffed dinosaurs, and food that may actually be mud.  On the other hand, beneath this gleefully ridiculous surface is a story of lies, betrayal, and heartbreak that would seem right at home with any “serious” story.  It feels like it's not as much a parody of noir as it is an actual noir story in a very silly setting, and somehow, it works on both levels.

The Art

Like Pytho's Mask, this is a text game, or Interactive Fiction as they're also known.  As such, the only art you'll see is the cover-art when you click “About This Game”.  It's not bad, and the idea of a rabbit's shadow looming menacingly over a mouse does fit the silly-yet-semi-dark tone of the game.

The Gameplay

The puzzles tend towards the “easy” end of the scale, and I like how the hint system is integrated into the game: one of the characters is “partially psychic”, which means he can give you obscure clues that you have to decode.  Of course, if even that's too difficult, then pressing him further will give you a clearer answer.

The game uses multiple-choice dialog.  There are no topics to be brought up, nor any branching dialog trees; your responses seem to be mostly decorative, although there are a couple obvious points where your choice can lead you to a different ending.  This system and the small world-map keep the game very compact, which is both a plus and a minus in my book.  Since there isn't a whole lot to explore, it's difficult for the player to get lost.  It's a good game for beginning IF/text-game players, I think; although the humor and over-all shortness should keep more experienced players from becoming too bored.

TL;DR:

Foo Foo is a hilarious love-letter to hard-boiled mysteries that manages to evoke the same feelings you'd likely find in a straight example of the genre.  The gameplay keeps things short and simple so that the player doesn't get lost, and the in-game hint system is amusingly done.  If you're new to text-games, this game is a good way to get your feet wet, and if you're a veteran IF player, it's still an amusing way to pass a few minutes.

These are just the facts, Ma'am...well, actually, no;  they're just my own opinions.  You might think this game is a wish come true, or you might say it stinks like old cheese.  Feel free to present your case in the comments!

What's Your Name?

Author: Sunlit Dreamer & Amiralo
Availability: Free, Download
Format: Visual Novel
Genre: Supernatural, Horror
Rating: Teen

Found at sunlit-dreamer.itch.io

My Scores (Out of 5):

Writing: 2
Art: 3
Gameplay: 2
Romance: 2 (“Still a better love story than the internet meme.”)

Summary

In What's Your Name?, you are Insert-Name-Here.  You've agreed to participate in a government program that pairs up humans with mythological creatures.  If, by the end of the first date, the M.C. gives you his name, that means the match-up was successful, and you can arrange to get married!  Until then, be careful, because lampirs, pukis, and mer-men are very, very dangerous.

Review

The Writing

The writing in What's Your Name? makes a couple of interesting and unusual choices.  First of all, this is the first visual novel I've ever played that uses third person narration.  While that style of writing can work just fine for books, I think games require a closer link between the player and the main character.  Whereas “You see a ghost” or “What should I say to him...?” put the player in the main character's head, “She got up to leave” keeps us at a distance, watching from the outside.  It makes it a little harder to get invested.

Another gamble that I don't think paid off very well is having three separate player characters.  When you get a route (more on this later), the game doesn't just present you with a different guy: it puts you in the shoes of a different, corresponding girl, with a different look, personality, backstory, and motivation.  To me, this also makes it harder to get invested: instead of exploring one character through different paths through one story, we're essentially given three very short stories with little time to understand who we're playing as and little reason to get attached.

As for the skill of the writing itself, I have mixed opinions.  Some parts of it were nice, though there were a few grammar flubs here and there.  Some of the descriptions, though, seemed like they were trying to do the job of the art.  A picture is worth a thousand words, so why go to the effort of narrating someone's clothing, pose, or features when you could just show us?  And speaking of art...

The Art

The characters themselves are done nicely enough: they have a kind of sketched look to them, with soft colors that are easy on the eyes.  The backgrounds, though, are very simple.  What's infuriating, though, is that there are times when the screen goes completely black except for the text describing what we see.  There's no call for it; they could at least keep the background up!

On the plus side, the music is very beautiful.  However, I must complain about one of the sound effects: At one point in the lampir's route, our character's ears ring.  We do not need to actually hear this high-pitched ringing.  Seriously, it's a shrill, high note just on the edge of hearing that stretches on and on until the scene is mercifully over or you've taken a mallet to the computer and started smashing it.

Also, I'm on the fence about the chibi-scenes in this one.  They're cute, I suppose.  I do appreciate that our protagonists are different races, but it would have been nice if we could see them sooner, instead of being surprised at the very end with an image of them that may look nothing like what you've been picturing this entire time.

The Gameplay

Like Other Age, this game starts with a personality quiz to determine who you'll be pursuing.  After much thought, I've decided I don't like this technique.  It creates an unnecessary obstacle.  To get any specific character (a must for completionists), the player has to answer questions in a way that matches up with the traits of someone she hasn't even met yet, which calls for either mind-reading, a walk-through, or lots of trial and error.  It lacks the fairness of interacting with someone based on what we know, see, or guess about them.

I was also disappointed that we get very little input into what kind of person our main character is and how she interacts with the world.  Basically, the personality quiz only chooses which story (and thus which main character) to drop you into.  While there are choices, they are only a few with very little difference between options: you can, for example, choose whether or not to look your partner in the eyes while lying, but you cannot choose to evade the question or tell the truth.  Combined with the writing decisions mentioned above, this makes it very hard to connect with the main character in the way a player should be able to.  After all, if the narrator doesn't believe she's me, and she's already more or less made up her own mind what to do in the story, then why am I even here?

I think the worst part of the gameplay, though, is that certain scenes require you to do absolutely nothing.  The choice menu is in front of you, and you have to just wait for several seconds instead of clicking an option.  This is interpreted as your character doing nothing.  No.  Do you know what's a better way to have a character do nothing?  Give the player a choice labeled “Do Nothing”.  I didn't even know “nothing” was an option until I read the walk-through, since usually these things aren't timed and I saw no indication that this was any different.  Oh, and one of those “do nothing” moments comes while an annoying, high-pitched sound is playing.  You didn't actually need your ears, did you?

TL;DR:

What's Your Name? took some risks that didn't completely pan out. Still, it has its moments.  It's not the best game out there, but I wouldn't call it the worst, either.  Basically, I'm not mad; just disappointed.


Remember, though, that this is only the opinion of one person.  You might think this game is the perfect match for you, or you might want all traces of it eradicated.  Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

Zayay

Author: psyAlera

Availability: Free, Download

Format: Visual Novel

Genre: Fantasy

Rating: Teen

Found at DeviantArt OR PsyAlera.itch.io

My Scores (Out of 5):

Writing: 1

Art: 3.5

Gameplay: 2

Romance: N/A

Summary

In Zayay, you are insert-name-here. You're in a place you don't recognize, with no memory of where you were trying to go. A strange bunny-man offers to help you remember by showing you around the area. What could possibly go wrong?

Review

The Writing

“What on earth did I just read?!” is not a good question for a story to leave the audience with. After several playthroughs, the only information I had gained about the world and the characters in it is that there was some kind of war, there are some kind of gods, and there's some kind of demon bunny named Lord Zayo Byron who sells bones. Also, the woods have a nymph in them. This wasn't because the story was confusing, exactly, but because nothing of substance really happens with any of the characters. Information is so minimal that one gets the impression that there *is* no story, nor any real sense of character beyond “here is a creepy rabbit-man”. Who are you, and why did you come to this place? Unknown. Why does Zayo do what he does? Unknown. What does he like? Fear? Dream about? Unknown. Unless, of course, you get all the endings and unlock the out-of-story character interview in the “extra” section, because heaven forbid something as important as characterization be anywhere in the actual story, and personally, I think the revelations given in this “interview” just make the character even flatter.

Furthermore, the game seems to outright mock players of romance games. At the risk of spoilers, there is one ending where Zayo flat-out insults the protagonists for expecting a romantic outcome, using the phrase “I hate your kind”. It's easy to see this as the author trying to mock the player for wanting to play a dating game and get a romantic ending from it. Granted, the fully-revealed twist makes things a little clearer, but again, the most information we get is outside of the actual story and so locked away that I'm a bit upset at having already used the “bewareof the leopard” quote.

The Art

One thing I'll say about Lord Zayo: poorly-written though he may be, at least he is well-drawn. The eyes especially were pretty captivating. Everything else, though, was kind of “meh”. The background of the forest was kind of interesting in that it had several layers which rocked back and forth, giving it a nice surreal sense that evoked the wind blowing through the trees. Over-all, though, the actual shapes and figures in the backgrounds were very simple to the point of feeling lazy. The music was nice, but I didn't really feel that it connected with the story or setting in any meaningful way. Like everything else in Zayay, it simply was.

The Gameplay

Perhaps the biggest (maybe even only) draw about Zayay is the randomized dialog which makes it so that no two play-throughs are exactly the same. In one session, Zayo first approaches you; in another, you first approach him. He may ask your name, or nick-name you himself. Responses to questions may be different, even contradicting answers given in earlier games. Of course, this actually worsens the problem of getting to know the characters and the world since information isn't just revealed, but changed.

Aside from the randomized dialog, though, the actual game itself is pretty linear and boring. There are five locations, and you will visit all of them, once and only once. There are three choices at the end, leading to four (technically three) possible endings, so while your choices apparently do have an effect, it's really only minimal. There is a sharp twist to the game that really doesn't become fully clear until you've unlocked and seen the extra, and frankly, it just doesn't seem worth it to me.

TL;DR

Zayay strikes me as a rather gimmicky waste of time. There is a twist on the otome-game genre and some interesting, randomized variations in the dialog, but the game is otherwise on rails, the characters and setting are never really fleshed out in any meaningful way, and while the characters are well-drawn, the backgrounds are pretty lazily done. It's not romance, it's not horror, and without the locked character-interview, it's not comprehensible.

But then, maybe you disagree. Do you think Zayay is cute, or does it just leave you wondering why you came here? Feel free to discuss in the comments.

Romance Is Dead

Author: Tall Tales Productions

Availability: Free, Download

Format: Visual Novel

Genre: Supernatural

Rating: Teen

My Scores (Out of 5):

Writing: 4

Art: 3.5

Gameplay: 4

Romance: 2.5 (“With endings this sad, it's not just dead: it's buried!”)

Found at lemmasoft forums

Summary

In Romance Is Dead, you are Madeline “Maddie” Washington, a biology student at the University of New Orleans. You've come to the conclusion that romance is dead. Perhaps it's a good thing, then, that you've now found yourself in the company of three guys who are also dead! ….Wait, what?

Review

The Writing

Major props to this game for being the first one I've ever played (much less reviewed) that has a black protagonist. I point this out because most of these games tend to feature characters who are either white or “Asian but with white skin and fair hair”, and I'm not the only one who's noticed this trend, either. Perhaps the tide is finally turning! What's more, this isn't just a palette decision: the issue of race, and the language and ideas associated with it, actually gets brought up a bit, just as it was in A Due.

I also enjoy how this game has such a strong sense of place. This isn't just “Anytown, USA”: this is New Orleans. It isn't just a school, either: it's the sciences section of UNO. The amount of detail given in the story makes me inclined to believe that the creator(s) either came from this area or did lots and lots of research, because it all feels very rich and real. Even the state's history is taken to account for the characters' back-stories, as voo-doo and segregation and the Louisiana Purchase all play a part in making these characters who they are.

The story is also strongly dated, which is a bold and often-risky choice: pop-culture items like Buffy the Vampire-Slayer or The Walking Dead are often discussed, and we are reminded, quite firmly, that this is the 21^st century. A lot of works set in the present try to avoid committing to a specific point in time, since time is always moving. Time will tell if this decision will preserve the work or make it rot.

The Art

I was very surprised at how cartoony the art-style was. It's not like anime, either, but more like something you would see on Western-made television. While it's not bad, it does seem to me like a style more suited to a comedic piece than a romantic one. The backgrounds are just filtered photos, which was a little bit disappointing when it's so clear that somebody involved in this production can actually draw. The music is nice, being a little bit creepy and a little bit jazzy and quite a good fit, though perhaps not quite the auditory match-made-in-heaven that Cafe Rouge struck gold with.

The Gameplay

The balance in this game felt perfect to me, having a good amount of branch-off points and dialog changes without actually carrying the story too far away from the main plot-line. All of the choices make a difference, both in the ending and how you get there, yet the anchor-points in the plot keep it from becoming a sprawled-out mess. The mystery of Adam's death and zombification always remains at the center, but how this gets resolved and who you end up with at the end is deliciously left open.

TL;DR

Romance is Dead is a very well-made game. The art could be a little better in some ways, but the writing more than picks up the slack for it, and the whole thing is assembled beautifully in a way that encourages lots of replay. Overall, I enjoyed this game quite a bit and look forward to seeing what else Tall Tales Productions comes out with.

Of course, this is only my opinion. Does this game capture your heart, or does it just stink like a pickled corpse? Let us pick your braaaaaaaaiiins in the comment section.

Number Days Sim Date

Author: Pacthesis

Availability: Free, Online/Browser-based

Format: Dating Sim/Point-and-Click

Genre: Supernatural

Rating: Teen

Found at: pacthesisgames.com OR simdategames.net

My Scores (out of 5):

Writing: 4.5

Art: 4.5

Gameplay: 4.5

Romance: 4 (“Ooh, now we're talking!”)

Summary

In Number Days Sim Date, you are Evelyn/Insert-Name-Here. You've gone with your friends to the grand opening of a new theme park, only to suddenly find yourself alone in a park that's now surrounded by a glass wall. A few other people are in the same predicament as you, and you've all gotten the same cryptic text message on your phones: “Your time here will end when your number reaches zero.” Your number is Twelve...

Review

The Writing

First of all, the plot is amazing in both concept and execution. The story is like an episode of The Twilight Zone, and I can easily picture it being adapted into a book or movie. In fact, if anyone reading this knows Pacthesis (or, better yet, is Pacthesis), I'd like to point out that the indie game Five Nights at Freddy's has already made such a transition, so it might be time to get an agent and/or publisher and claim some of that sweet, sweet Internet Money.

The characters are very distinct and fleshed out, each possessing flaws, passions, and quirks that come up again and again in both the cut-scenes and the dialog-trees. No two are interchangeable, and even characters with similar traits (weirdness, intelligence, shyness, etc.) express those traits in very different ways. This helps make the endings very satisfying and emotional, both in story-mode and free-mode.

I greatly enjoy how the plot itself isn't just flavor, but is instead used to showcase the characters' personalities by letting us see how they operate under pressure. Who takes charge? Who follows? Who tries to solve things by himself? I also like how every character's path ties into the game's over-arching theme of “Be Yourself, and Accept Others for Who They Are”, which is a good message. I do wish, however, that the dialog-trees were a little more synced up with the main story-line, since characters sometimes reference things that either haven't been introduced yet or were already solved.

The Art

Not only is the art well-drawn, but I'm very impressed by the level of effort that clearly went into it. Dialog is accompanied by a profile-picture with changing expressions, and the main part of the game features animated figures, decent backgrounds, and some very lovely CGs. I also like how the lighting changes from day to night, and the way inventory items appear in the backpack as actual items rather than just abstract icons of equal size. The music is fun, too.

The Gameplay

Number Days offers two modes of play: story-mode and free-mode. This makes it easier to go back and get alternate endings without the main plot getting in the way. Story-mode also offers chapter-select, and each section begins with helpful tips on how to play.

Like Cafe Rouge, much of the game involves wandering through the map, as opposed to just selecting a location and being magically teleported. Unlike Cafe Rouge, though, there is a handy mini-map to consult if you get lost. Also, as in MemoryDays and HeavenlyPlaygirl Dating Sim, characters' locations often change; however, the relocations are much more frequent and random, here, which can be very annoying when you need to find someone.

The classic Dating Sim Interactions of Talk/Gift/Date are all present and all affect the game, but with interesting side-effects that I won't discuss because of spoilers. There is also a point-and-click element of finding small objects scattered across the map, which presents an extra challenge. Strangely, there is also a set of...non-minigames? I'm not sure what to call them, since they're an activity that you can do to get tickets for prizes, but “playing” them really just amounts to rolling a die to see how well your character did. It took me a while to realize what was going on, and then, since I usually hate mini-games anyway, I wasn't sure how I should feel about it. Luckily, nothing about this section is truly necessary anyway, unless you really want to give your new friend an expensive present.

TL;DR

Two words: Magnum Opus. Number Days is one of the best games I've ever reviewed and may well be Pacthesis' crowning achievement. The plot and characters are well-developed, the art is lovely and brings the story to life, and the game-play is both elaborate and well-balanced. Most of Pacthesis' earlier games have struck me as being slightly experimental, and this game is where the previous experiments finally pay off.

What do you think, though? Does this game deserve all the happiness, or is its number up? The comment section is open today, with free admission and no height-restrictions!

Lads in Distress

Author: Catfish Crew

Availability: Free, Download

Format: Visual Novel

Genre: Fantasy / Literature

Rating: Teen

Found at catfishcrew.itch.io

My Scores (Out of 5):

Writing: 4

Art: 5

Gameplay: 3

Romance: 3.5 (“A good notch or two above actual fairy-tales”)

Summary

In Lads in Distress, you are Princess Charming of Lunar Kingdom. You're skilled in magic and have quite a bit of a hero complex, which is why you have no problem with entering into a loveless political marriage to help your struggling kingdom. Of course, you still get to pick your groom, although three mysterious princes have been emphatically vetoed by your parents and it seems all of them need some kind of rescuing. Hmm.....

Review

The Writing

How do I love this game? Let me count the ways: I love that it flips the genders on classic stories, putting the girl in the position of the dashing hero. I love how Princess Charming manages to avoid crossing the threshold of Mary-Sueism by having her arrogance and savior complex actually treated as character flaws to be overcome. I love how each prince is recognizably based on a fairy-tale. I love how it twists the fairy-tales enough that, even if you're familiar with the story each prince is based on, you'll still be caught off-guard. I also love that Mer is clearly based on the original Hans Christian Anderson version of The Little Mermaid, as opposed to a certain popular 90's movie.

Granted, the script could have been proof-read a little better, and there might be a little bit of fridge-logic in one of the paths, but overall, the writing is pretty good. I was impressed that this story didn't romanticize royal marriages the way many fantasy stories often do, with love-at-first-sight and beautiful commoners becoming royalty because of their shoe-size; rather, we get the much more pragmatic truth of royals marrying for political reasons that have nothing to do with love, looks, or foot-wear. Yet despite this unromantic premise (or maybe because of it?), the relationships themselves are very sweet in how they unfold, with something that started out so cold and calculating slowly growing into friendship, trust, and love over time.

The Art

After much thought, I could not justify giving the art score anything less than a perfect 5. Calling it “beautiful” just isn't enough. It's...sumptuous! Everything, every artistic aspect, is clean, perfect, and of a professional quality. The backgrounds are gorgeous and richly detailed, with a wide variety of locations that don't “recycle the set”, so to speak. The music is exquisite, orchestral, and perfectly meshes with the game's setting and tone. The characters themselves are lovely and intricately detailed, with a very broad range of surprisingly nuanced expressions that match up well with the descriptions in the text. Even the color palette works on a level I don't usually notice, giving each character a distinct look that reflects something about them while still harmonizing with each other and the background. If this artwork were a cup of coffee,even the saucer would be perfect!

The Gameplay

Alas, I wasn't really sure what score I should give the gameplay, since while it doesn't really do anything “wrong”, I still came away feeling a little unsatisfied. To give just the facts: there are three potential suitors in this game, each with two endings (although they don't fall neatly into the labels of “good” vs “bad” endings, with one dark exception). After the initial three-pronged split, each path is pretty linear, with your choices mostly just adjusting subtle stats to determine which ending you get. Mer's route spiced things up by having options appear, disappear, or have a different outcome depending on your past choices, which I thought made things more exciting, but for the most part, there's only a narrow range of change in each route. (I was also privately disappointed when the fairy companion didn't turn out to be a surprise fourth suitor, but this did not factor into the score at all).

I feel that the general lack of any bad endings takes most of the risk and tension out of the game. While this can be a major plus for someone who just wants to relax in a comforting story, like the equivalent of a bowl of chicken soup, it's a drawback to anyone looking for more of a challenge. The value of a victory is mostly based on the threat of defeat, and without any real chance of losing, it falls to the main story itself to shoulder the burden of getting the reader invested. Of course, this is only a review of the NaNoRenO version, and it's possible that the future extended version will turn out better.

TL;DR

Lads in Distress is a fantastically beautiful game that turns classic fairy-tales completely on their heads. The game mostly stays on its rails with only a few endings, only one of which can be called “bad”, so you generally can't lose. Overall, I think it's very worth playing.

What do you think? Is this game so good it leaves you speechless, or does it deserve the kiss of death? Let down your hair in the comments section and tell us your thoughts.

A Due

Author: azureXtwilight, Nellie, and Aro Wana

Availability: Free, Download

Format: Visual Novel

Genre: Music Fiction

Rating: Teen 

Found at vndb.org OR mementomori.vnovel.com

My Scores (Out of 5):

Writing: 4.8

Art: 4.8

Gameplay: 3.5

Romance: 4 ( “Why are all these onions here?!” )

Summary

In A Due, you are Sona Song-- a punky slacker whose Father inexplicably left you his orchestra. You wouldn't actually care, except that you only get his money if you attend their practice sessions, and you happen to owe a lot to some shady people. One day, though, you run into a strange fellow named Hao; he doesn't speak English, and you don't speak Chinese, but you can tell he's very upset with the quality of your orchestra's playing. Can the language barrier be over come by the language of Music...or even the language of Love?

Review

The Writing

This is one of the few games I've played through that made me want to cry. Granted, there are a couple clichés and I groaned when I found out the protagonist of a Music-themed story was punnily named Song, but for the most part, this story really stuck a chor—um, hit home for me, especially since I have a music background myself. The musician's interactions with each other and their conductors really rang true (minus the violence and chair-throwing), and the themes of music's universality and how it brings people together just went straight to my soul.

I also like the fact that not only do we have a Chinese protagonist (perhaps the first one I've seen in any of these games), but her being Chinese isn't just “decorative”. Sona has to deal with racism, people assuming she can speak Chinese, and finally: the language barrier. Language itself is almost a character in this story, and the theme of language is blended exquisitely with the theme of music.

On top of all that, it really is a touching story with good humor and emotional moments, and there's major character development in both the protagonist and the love interest. I became very interested in these characters and their bond, and when the game was over, the story still lingered on in my head. I needed more. That's usually a sign of good writing. (As a bonus, this game also teaches you Chinese and Italian! What more could you want?)

The Art

The backgrounds are photographs, and the characters are decently drawn in the anime/manga style that's pretty standard for otome games. I got a kick out of the buttons being shaped like musical notes: that was a nice touch. Also, the chibi drawings between chapters were pretty cute. Another graphic detail I really like is the way that whenever Hao speaks Chinese, the words Sona actually knows have their transliterations written above the character: it helps to put us inside Sona's head (Plus, you get to learn Chinese words this way!).

The real show-stealer, though, is the music. You'd expect a game with a music theme to have a decent score, and A Due does not disappoint! Several Classical pieces play throughout the story, as well as a couple numbers that are a bit more Rock. As a nice touch, the background music even correctly corresponds to the songs name-dropped in the script: when Sona decides to have the orchestra play the theme from Romeo and Juliet, guess what you hear in the next rehearsal scene? Also, the story's own theme song is probably going to stay in my head for a long time.

The Gameplay

The gameplay is mostly linear; while your choices do affect which ending you get, the story itself doesn't really branch out the way Frozen Essence or Requiem of the Abyss do. That said, there are three endings, and getting all of them unlocks an epilogue. While not the shortest game, it can be totally completed in a day.

TL;DR

A Due is a beautiful story about language, music, and the need to love what you're doing. It's beautiful in every way, with good writing, decent art, lovely music, and clear, straight-forward gameplay. This might be one of the best games I've reviewed; it's definitely one of my favorites, although that might be partly due to my own personal biases.

What do you think, though? Is this a game you'd play con amore, or do you just want to smash a guitar over it? Feel free to compose your thoughts in the comments.

Reverie: an Odd Sim Date

Author: Amiralo

Availability: Free, Online

Format: Dating Sim

Genre: Dream World / Surrealism

Rating: Teen

Found at: simdatinggames.com OR amiralo.deviantart.com

My Scores (out of 5):

Writing: 3.5

Art: 3

Gameplay: 2

Romance: 2.5 (Just one actual pairing, but darn it, I got misty-eyed)

Summary

In Reverie, you are Asuka, a high-school girl with so many problems at home that escaping into a dreamland seems like a good idea. However, once you find yourself *in* said dreamland, you decide you really ought to be heading home. Unfortunately, the inhabitants of this place are anything but helpful.

Review

The Writing

The English in this game is rife with grammatical errors and typos, which makes reading it a little bit of a chore. Speaking of difficulty in reading, there was also a struck-out passage in the intro which I just about went bonkers trying to decipher. Fortunately, the text is revealed in the end, although I still think its mysterious, taunting presence is some form of cruelty.

At first, I thought the story was just going in the direction of obvious wish-fulfillment for the player: you wake up in a fancy castle, are told you're the most important person in it, and some rich guy wants to shower you with attention and presents. However, it turns out to be much deeper than that: these things are really wish-fulfillment for the *character*, and not everything is as nice as it appears to be. The story is almost as dark and depressing as Saccharine, with themes of persevering in the face of disappointment and disillusionment.

The Art

The quality of the art varies. When we first see Asuka in her new bedroom, the detail and cool palette were so lovely that I was quite caught off-guard. However, this level of artwork isn't maintained throughout the entire game, and I was frankly disappointed in the “serene place” to which the duke takes Asuka. Backgrounds aside, props must be given to the creatively surreal character designs of Joker and the nightmare monster, whose appearances are not merely strange, but highlight the unreality of the place.

The Gameplay

Argh. Where do I begin? Well, the good news, first: The game doesn't appear to have any critical glitches, save for a suspicious moment when I could have sworn that Joker gave me a knife, yet my attempts at attacking the day-10 monster immediately afterward resulted in the message that I “tried to attack it bare-handed.” Oh, yes, you can be attacked by monsters in this game, and while the shopkeeper NPC states that you can't actually die, the effect is still the same.  Also, the "play music" button causes the soundtrack to irritatingly overlap itself if pressed more than once, but that slight problem is both easily solved and easily ignored.

The main thing that bothers me about the gameplay is that the game itself tries to discourage you from exploring (characters tell you not to, monsters attack if you enter the wrong rooms, and then after you die, the game chides you for wandering around), yet exploring is absolutely necessary. There is no map in the game; there are no indications of what a given door could lead to, and there is nothing that can be done in the bedroom except sleeping and checking the inventory.  The danger, while potentially interesting, is handled very unfairly, especially since once you've accidentally stumbled across a monster, you have virtually zero chance of escaping unless you had the good fortune to stumble across the shopkeeper first and stock up on items. It isn't even possible to back out of a monster's room once you've realized where you are: you can only go forward, wincing even as you push the button because you know this thing will want chocolate and you only have the roses and WHY IS NAVIGATING THIS PLACE SO HARD?!

The other major complaint I have has to do with the help document. Many games include such a thing, and that is fine...provided it's easily accessible at the beginning of the game. This game's help document can only be found if you stumble into the right room, despite the fact that the game itself apparently doesn't want you to explore. Once found, it tells you that there is a specific, recommended order to courting the guys, and it gives you *vital* information regarding their endings. So, good thing you explored after all, I guess.

Despite these major flaws, the game isn't actually unplayable. Still, you will need a good memory for navigating all those doors, and there's a non-zero chance that you'll have to completely start over when you were just within inches of victory. It's beatable, but also frustrating at times.

TL;DR:

Reverie is a dark, tricky game with spotty English that, nevertheless, tells a decent story. It has a lot of interesting ideas, some of which could have probably been executed better, and it's worth checking out if you can put up with a few head-desk inducing game-over situations.  

As usual, this is merely one girl's opinion.  You might think this the game of your dreams, or a nightmarish monstrosity.  Feel free to let your mind wander in the comments.

Saccharine: a Misleading Sim Date

Author: Amiralo

Availability: Free, Online

Format: Dating Sim

Genre: Fantasy

Rating: Teen

Found at: simdatinggames.com OR amiralo.deviantart.com

My Scores (out of 5):

Writing: 3.5

Art: 3.5

Gameplay: 2.5

Romance: 1 (As close to an anti-romance as you can get without being “I Want to be Single”)

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Girl Game Review is back, and the first game we're serving up is Saccharine.

Summary

In Saccharine, you are Branwen: a mysterious, pale woman who comes to the pastel-colored kingdom of Cadille with the hopes of hiding a wanted fugitive; and if that plan happens to involve winning over the prince of this cake-loving kingdom, then so be it. Be warned, though, that this is not your typical, sugary dating sim.

Review

The Writing

Let me say up front that this is the darkest dating-game I've played to date (pun not intended), and that is including the games with vampires and magic powered by forsaken children. The game warns the player up front that it is a “misleading sim date”, and that...might actually be a good way to put it. At the risk of spoiling too much, this almost seems to be an anti-dating-game, the way its story unfolds and twists.

While there are a few grammatical issues sprinkled here and there (such as a person called "Women 1" stating “If I hadn't already marry Matthew..."), the story itself is interesting and nuanced, with satisfyingly individual and distinct characters. Also, I like how enough hints of the world—its culture, history, etc.—are given to make it seem to “bleed off the page”, as they say. It's nice when a fantasy story feels like it has a larger world to live in.

The Art

The art-style is interesting in that the characters have a hand-drawn look, while the backdrops seem to be painted with water-colors. This, combined with the long, thin style of the characters and the haunting, music-box-like background music, fits very well with the tone of the story, I think. That said, I like how there's a noticable difference in both body and face-shape between Branwen and the innkeeper; she adds a nice bit of visual variety without actually breaking the asthetic.

There are rough, un-colored chibis in some of the cut-scenes, and I leave it to others to decide whether this is in keeping with the hand-made look, or merely suggests that the creator was phoning it in for these parts. Personally, I didn't really mind it much, and I found the chibi drawing of Branwen with a bag over her head to be hilarious. The other scenes can be quite beautiful, though certainly not perfect, and I have to admit that the first time I saw Branwen, I didn't realize her eyelids were closed and I thought she was staring out at me with blank, dead eyes. It was rather unnerving.

The Gameplay

This game has an enforced linear gameplay, meaning that you cannot pursue bachelor #2 until you win bachelor #1. This would probably be more annoying if this were a regular dating sim, since offering a variety of guys to suit players' different tastes is part of the point. Even so, the way it's executed (with a note in the help screen telling you that you need cheatcodes) is very bald, and could probably have been handled more subtly. For example, some games (such as Fantasia: Requiem of the Abyss) just quietly unlock the new content after you've achieved whatever goal the author has set. Still others (like Frozen Essence) enable all the paths from the beginning anyway, letting the player assemble the full story themselves in whatever order their play-throughs happen to be in. I'm not saying the use of cheatcodes and such is wrong, mind you; just that it's possible to blend things more neatly into the game without breaking the fourth wall.

Subtlety aside, there are a few genuine complaints I have about the gameplay: first, it took me a while to realize that, in order to start the game and progress through certain scenes, I had to click on a gem. It would have been helpful to have this icon labelled the first time we see it. In far worse need of labeling, however, are the cakes and recipes for sale in the shop. It was very frustrating to finally earn enough gold to buy a certain cake, only to discover I'd purchased the wrong one. It'd be one thing if I were having to choose between a watch and a bowling-pin, but when discerning the flavors of cakes, one can really only go by the coloring, and even that's iffy. It's even worse for the recipes, which are identical except for their almost-arbitrary colors. (Sure, blue makes sense for blueberry...until you realize there's a second shade of blue in that lineup.) Also, there is a bug where trying to feed Isador a cake you don't have will result in you having a negative number of cakes.

One thing I did like, however, is that the gifts were woven naturally into the dialog so that you couldn't progress until you'd gotten the right thing. This kept the gift mechanic from feeling unnecessary or hack-y. I was annoyed, though, that Branwen told the Prince she'd eaten a cake when it was clearly still sitting in her inventory. (Then again, she does lie, so maybe this was in-character?) In fact, there is no mechanic for eating in the game, and while there doesn't really have to be, I was sort of expecting an eat-for-hp system like in Festival Days and a few others. Ah, well.

Another thing I like is the game-changing moment half-way through, where you get the opportunity to play match-maker for a couple of side-characters. Choosing one option can affect your income at work, while the other can affect the prices you pay at the shop. It's a nice way to let the player have more impact on the game's world, and it's also nice to be able to give someone a shot at hapiness.

TL;DR

Saccharine is a dark, anti-dating-sim set in a world of cakes and pastels. The story is a little depressing, and the music and hand-made-looking art fit the overall tone. The game forces you to play in a certain order, and while there are a few bugs and frustrating bits, it's perfectly playable. On the whole, I think it's worth checking out, provided you're fed up with sweetness and in the mood for something sad.

Of course, this is all my opinion: you might want to eat this game up, or hack it into bits. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.