Magical Makeover

Author: S. Woodson

Availability: Free, Download/Online

Format: Twine

Genre: Humor/Fantasy

Rating: Teen

Found at ifdb.tads.org or jayisgames.com

My Scores (Out of 5):

Writing: 4

Art: N/A

Gameplay: 2.5

Romance: N/A

Summary

In Magical Makeover, you have managed to get an invitation to Princess Philantha's Grand Equinox Ball! (Specifically, you've managed to get Dame Demetria's invitation to the ball. But never mind.) Once you're inside the palace, you plan to search for the legendary, wish-granting golden cassowary! Only, just having the invitation isn't enough: Princess Philantha only permits the prettiest people to be present at her party, which means it's time for a makeover! What could go wrong?

Review

The Writing

It occurs to me that this is the second game I've reviewed where the protagonist is a lesbian, and in both cases, the games were text-only and her love-life was irretrievably in the toilet. Huh. This has no bearing on the rating, mind you; I just find it kind of odd, and if it happens again, I'll have to check TV Tropes to see if “love-lorn lesbian text adventure” is a thing.

Getting back on topic: the writing for this is both good and hilarious. The game is partly a send-up of the classic dress-up/hygiene flash games on the internet. Our protagonist is not especially pretty, and she knows she's not pretty, and people are all too glad to tell her she's not pretty. But, when her rather suspicious beauty-products turn her into freaky and unusual shapes, somehow this gets considered beautiful. Of course, the beauty treatments are only a means to an end, both in-game and in a meta sense: after your arrival at the party, the story branches off into narratives that have little to do with either beauty or the eyes of beholders, and everything to do with looking for the golden cassowary. In other words, “Come for the satire, stay for the adventure.”

The Gameplay

I think I would have liked this game better if it had more choices in the second half. As it is, only the makeover segment itself feels remotely like a game, with the scenes at the party playing out like a very long epilogue. The choice of beauty-products is what determines which story you get to read at the end. Your choice of clothes has no effect on it, though it does give you some flavor text on the bus and at the party, which I enjoy seeing.

TL;DR:

Magical Makeover is an entertaining interactive story that flips off beauty-obsession without making that its only point. While the first half feels more like a game, the latter half puts more emphasis on “story” than “interactive”. Still, the writing itself is often fun enough to hold this piece's head above water.

That's just my opinion, though. Do you think that this game is simply glamorous, or is it the weirdest thing you've ever seen? Tell us in the comments!

Nacira

Author: Klepon Production
Availability: Free, Download
Format: Visual Novel
Genre: Literature, Humor
Rating: PG 

Found at vnnacira.weebly.com/

My Scores (Out of 5):

Writing: 2.5
Art: 3
Gameplay: 2
Romance: 2 (“Cute.”)

Summary

Nacira is loosely based on the characters from the Indonesian version of the epic Mahabharata.  You are Nacira Basita, a girl from a remote village who has come to the capital as a substitute dancer for the king's crowning ceremony.  While staying at the palace, you find a box left by your predecessor, with a letter saying that it belongs to the one she loves.  It must be for one of the five princes...but which one?

Review

The Writing

First of all, let me throw some confetti for this game being set in a location that hasn't already been done to death: Indonesia!  I've complained before about the only four countries in these games being America, Japan, Fantasyland, and Ambiguousland.  Seeing more of the world represented makes me ridiculously happy!  Also, I never really knew anything about the Mahabharata, or Indonesian culture at all, and this game made me become curious about both.  Kudos!

That being said, It's obvious that English is not the author's first language, although it's also pretty clear that the writer really tried.  A number of proof-readers are credited, but the final result leaves me wondering if they knew any English either.  Still, the effort is appreciated, and at least I was able to understand the story.

The story itself is a cute, low-tension setup: You've made a friendly bet with Prince Arjuna to find out who is the owner of the box.  This involves asking the brothers about their relationships with the woman who left it behind.  It's interesting without being very intense, and I would have recommended it for all ages if there wasn't an instance of very strong language.

The brothers themselves are nicely varied in their personalities, and their interactions with Nacira are very entertaining.  Character is something that's very easy to screw up, and yet it's perhaps the single most important element in any romance-based work of fiction.  Even though the low-stakes plot could have easily made this story boring, the characters involved lifted it back up to being interesting.

The Art

I found the music interesting, since I've never before heard a score that involved bells so heavily.  This entire game just has a certain look and feel that sets it apart and seems to celebrate its setting. The sprites are well drawn, with the some of the characters looking more Asian and some looking more White; although, there are only two sprites for extras (one male, one female), which gives the impression that the city is populated by clones.  The backgrounds were okay, although I was a little disappointed when a supposed “majestic view of the city” only displayed as a blue sky.  Also, rather than making the CGs the prettiest part of the game (as most games I've played seem to do), Nacira has these parts drawn in a more humorous, cartoony style.

The Gameplay

The gameplay is perhaps Nacira's weakest point.  While there are choices, there is no real branching, since choosing to defy the plot will result in the protagonist eventually changing her mind and going back to the script.  Also, since the plot was framed as a mystery, I expected to be able to choose who to guess the box belonged to, but that's actually not the case.  In fact, it took me a while to understand how the game actually works: you don't actually try to figure out who owns the box.  Instead, you ask about the boy you're most interested in.  At the end, that's who Nacira guesses and, even if she's not right, that's whose ending you get.  It's frustrating and, I think, very unsporting.  Still, at least once you understand all this, it's pretty easy to get the ending you desire.

TL;DR

Nacira is a short, sweet game that shows players part of a culture not often seen in any western media.  The English is poor, but the story is entertaining enough to make up for it.  The main characters are decent-looking.  The gameplay lies about being a mystery, but at least it's easy once you know the actual rules.  Overall, I'd recommend giving this game a try.

Foo Foo

Author: Buster Hudson
Availability: Free, Download
Format: Text Game
Genre: Humor, Mystery, Fantasy / Literature
Rating: Teen

Found at ifdb.tads.org

My Scores (Out of 5):

Writing: 4
Art: N/A (Cover Art: 2.5)
Gameplay: 3.5
Romance: 2 (“Forget it, Jake; it's Fieldtown.”)

Summary

Foo Foo is, of all things, a hard-boiled P.I. mystery based on the nursery rhyme “Little Bunny Foo Foo”.  You play Good Fairy, a detective with the FPD who's been tasked with clearing the name of a repeat-offender who swears he really doesn't recall bopping anyone this time.  As you dig deeper, you unearth a conspiracy involving real estate deals, disappearing field mice, and illegal cheese; and somehow, your ex-girlfriend is mixed up in all of this.

Review

The Writing

It boggles the mind how Foo Foo manages to be so silly and so dramatic at the same time.  On the one hand, you're a fairy in glass shoes, dealing with cheese, stuffed dinosaurs, and food that may actually be mud.  On the other hand, beneath this gleefully ridiculous surface is a story of lies, betrayal, and heartbreak that would seem right at home with any “serious” story.  It feels like it's not as much a parody of noir as it is an actual noir story in a very silly setting, and somehow, it works on both levels.

The Art

Like Pytho's Mask, this is a text game, or Interactive Fiction as they're also known.  As such, the only art you'll see is the cover-art when you click “About This Game”.  It's not bad, and the idea of a rabbit's shadow looming menacingly over a mouse does fit the silly-yet-semi-dark tone of the game.

The Gameplay

The puzzles tend towards the “easy” end of the scale, and I like how the hint system is integrated into the game: one of the characters is “partially psychic”, which means he can give you obscure clues that you have to decode.  Of course, if even that's too difficult, then pressing him further will give you a clearer answer.

The game uses multiple-choice dialog.  There are no topics to be brought up, nor any branching dialog trees; your responses seem to be mostly decorative, although there are a couple obvious points where your choice can lead you to a different ending.  This system and the small world-map keep the game very compact, which is both a plus and a minus in my book.  Since there isn't a whole lot to explore, it's difficult for the player to get lost.  It's a good game for beginning IF/text-game players, I think; although the humor and over-all shortness should keep more experienced players from becoming too bored.

TL;DR:

Foo Foo is a hilarious love-letter to hard-boiled mysteries that manages to evoke the same feelings you'd likely find in a straight example of the genre.  The gameplay keeps things short and simple so that the player doesn't get lost, and the in-game hint system is amusingly done.  If you're new to text-games, this game is a good way to get your feet wet, and if you're a veteran IF player, it's still an amusing way to pass a few minutes.

These are just the facts, Ma'am...well, actually, no;  they're just my own opinions.  You might think this game is a wish come true, or you might say it stinks like old cheese.  Feel free to present your case in the comments!

Outsmart

Authors: Stellar (concept), Hipon (code), Clea Leshlick (Music/Sound), Lazcht and Kodoktua (Graphics)
Availability: Free, Online/Browser
Format: Management Sim
Genre: Humor
Rating: E
My Scores: (Writing: 3.5, Art: 5, Gameplay: 3)

Found at http://keygames.com/ or http://www.kongregate.com/

Summary:

In Outsmart, you are Anneite.  You and your slacker fiance Robme have been given an ultimatum by his parents: the two of you have two months to raise $50,000 dollars and get married.  Otherwise, get out!

Review:

Writing:

The first interesting thing that stands out to me is the fact that this is a relationship-based game that already has you in a relationship, and a stable one at that.  The story isn't about finding love or losing it.  Rather, it's about the two of you getting enough financial independence to be kicked out of the nest.  It's a very contemporary theme, since we live in an age where more and more adults (at least in the U.S) are still living with their parents, whether because of a lack of available jobs or because of a lack of work-related ambition.  In the case of Robme, it's the latter.

At first I thought that this was either going to be the story of a nice girl being saddled with a mooching loser in the name of "Twu Wuv", or the story of a girl becoming disillusioned and kicking her boyfriend out on his rear.  I was pleasantly surprised as the story of Anneite and Robme unfolded and showed that, no, this was not a lop-sided relationship.  Robme may be lazy, but he's not ungrateful; and Anneite may be more ambitious, but that doesn't necessarily translate to "female role model".

The English is off, here.  For a while, I thought maybe it was an intentional reference to poorly-dubbed anime, but I get the impression that English just isn't the writer's first language.  Still, it's a humorous game, and the story is pretty cute.

Art:

The art and graphics are professional quality.  The art suggests anime or something similar, although the characters are definitely more wonky than pretty, as in Castle Chase.  Also, I find it hilarious that Robme's mother is apparently a gun-toting robot.

Gameplay:

They say that the whole is more than the sum of its parts, and I find that to be remarkably true for this game.

On the one hand, it seems to be utterly dependent on mini-games:  your maximum stats are determined by each stat's level, which can only be raised by beating a mini-game.  You get most of your money from "special events", which are mini-games.  Furthermore, all of these are fast-paced timed games, which I usually loathe particularly.  To make matters worse, the game seems to have memory issues that cause it to run slower and slower as you play, so that moving the cursor feels like trying to move a large, flopping fish onto a target by pushing/pulling it across a greased floor.

Fortunately, the lag problem is solvable by saving the game and refreshing the screen, so it isn't impossible to play (Although I recommend trying this early in the game, just to make sure you won't lose your progress).  As for the mini-games...well...I had fun.  Much to my surprise and bewilderment, I actually had fun.  Granted, I still maintain my position that mini-games should not be required for success; If I wanted to play arcade-style games, I would not google sims.  But somehow, the pesky little things seemed to own the place here; they seemed almost part of the structure, as it were, and I found myself having more fun than I felt I should have been having.

More importantly, I was impressed by how the stats complemented each-other in this game.  Having high intelligence unlocks more efficient ways to boost your charm; having more charm enables you to better raise your love, and love is what enables you to force your boyfriend to work harder, thus earning more money.  It's downright beautiful how it all works.

TLDR:

Outsmart is a pretty unique sim that takes the idea of relationship-based games in a completely different direction than what one might expect.  The story is very contemporary in a way that's both sad and hilarious.  It's heavy on the mini-games and has lag issues, but despite this, it's actually very fun.

Of course, this is just what I think, and you may think I'm absolutely full of it.  Feel free to state your opinions in the comments. 

Castle Chase

Author: Makio-Kuta and Racheal

Availability: Free, Download

Format: Dating Sim / RPG

Genre: Fantasy/Humor

Rating: PG

My Scores: (Writing:4, Art: 4, Gameplay: 6 5) out of 5

Found at http://www.castlechase.com

Summary:

In Castle Chase, you are Princess Monica. Your future, as it has been planned for you, involves marrying some prince from another kingdom and becoming a queen. That doesn't strike you as appealing, so you duck out from your studies for the day with the intent of going on a date! The problem is, who with?

Review:

My reaction upon seeing the game's home page: Yikes, who let the dogs out? Ugh, the English on this page is worse than a five-year-old's. And what the heck? "Two hour contest"? Is that how long they spent making this thing? Aw man, this is going to suck....

My reaction upon actually playing the game: OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST GAME I'VE EVER PLAYED IN MY LIFE!!!

--The following review is brought to you by Esther D. Bum, with many apologies to Doug Walker.--

There's this princess, and she looks like a bizarre anime character, which would suck if this was a romance game, but it isn't really a romance game! It's a comedy!! And she meets this guy who looks a lot like a girl, which is amazing since all the girls look like guys anyway! But she only looks bizarre when she's talking, because the rest of the time, she's a cute 8-bit rpg character like from the 80s or 90s! I was an 8-bit rpg character once, but then I got eaten by a turtle! And the music is all midievally and stuff!! It's amazing!!!

So the princess wants to go on a date even though dating doesn't exist yet, and everyone is like "NO! STAY IN SCHOOL!" But she says "Screw you I'm the Princess! I'll do what I want!" And she walks around the castle looking for someone who wants to date her, because she doesn't know princesses are hot stuff, and every time she talks to somebody, plot happens! And sometimes the plots are sweet and sometimes they're hilarious, and sometimes they're sweet AND hilarious, like chocolate-covered clowns!!!

So she's walking and walking and then she walks some more, because the castle is really, really big, and it's just like Legend of Zelda except that she doesn't fight anything! Or smash any pots! So it's not like Zelda at all! And she finds these objects everywhere and she gives them to people to make more plot happen, but some of the objects are red herrings, and one of them actually IS a red herring! So she walks around and sometimes people follow her, and different things can happen based on what she did and who she talked to, and then she gets an ending and the game is like "Okay, You're Done!" HOORAY!

This is Esther D. Bum saying CHANGE? You got change?? Aw, c'mon, help a girl out!!!

----

Seriously, this game was a lot of fun once I figured out the keyboard commands. (X is inventory and S is use, by the way; or at least it is on my copy.) Also, this is the last time I shall attempt to rip off Doug Walker's "Bum Reviews".