Castle Chase

Author: Makio-Kuta and Racheal

Availability: Free, Download

Format: Dating Sim / RPG

Genre: Fantasy/Humor

Rating: PG

My Scores: (Writing:4, Art: 4, Gameplay: 6 5) out of 5

Found at http://www.castlechase.com

Summary:

In Castle Chase, you are Princess Monica. Your future, as it has been planned for you, involves marrying some prince from another kingdom and becoming a queen. That doesn't strike you as appealing, so you duck out from your studies for the day with the intent of going on a date! The problem is, who with?

Review:

My reaction upon seeing the game's home page: Yikes, who let the dogs out? Ugh, the English on this page is worse than a five-year-old's. And what the heck? "Two hour contest"? Is that how long they spent making this thing? Aw man, this is going to suck....

My reaction upon actually playing the game: OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST GAME I'VE EVER PLAYED IN MY LIFE!!!

--The following review is brought to you by Esther D. Bum, with many apologies to Doug Walker.--

There's this princess, and she looks like a bizarre anime character, which would suck if this was a romance game, but it isn't really a romance game! It's a comedy!! And she meets this guy who looks a lot like a girl, which is amazing since all the girls look like guys anyway! But she only looks bizarre when she's talking, because the rest of the time, she's a cute 8-bit rpg character like from the 80s or 90s! I was an 8-bit rpg character once, but then I got eaten by a turtle! And the music is all midievally and stuff!! It's amazing!!!

So the princess wants to go on a date even though dating doesn't exist yet, and everyone is like "NO! STAY IN SCHOOL!" But she says "Screw you I'm the Princess! I'll do what I want!" And she walks around the castle looking for someone who wants to date her, because she doesn't know princesses are hot stuff, and every time she talks to somebody, plot happens! And sometimes the plots are sweet and sometimes they're hilarious, and sometimes they're sweet AND hilarious, like chocolate-covered clowns!!!

So she's walking and walking and then she walks some more, because the castle is really, really big, and it's just like Legend of Zelda except that she doesn't fight anything! Or smash any pots! So it's not like Zelda at all! And she finds these objects everywhere and she gives them to people to make more plot happen, but some of the objects are red herrings, and one of them actually IS a red herring! So she walks around and sometimes people follow her, and different things can happen based on what she did and who she talked to, and then she gets an ending and the game is like "Okay, You're Done!" HOORAY!

This is Esther D. Bum saying CHANGE? You got change?? Aw, c'mon, help a girl out!!!

----

Seriously, this game was a lot of fun once I figured out the keyboard commands. (X is inventory and S is use, by the way; or at least it is on my copy.) Also, this is the last time I shall attempt to rip off Doug Walker's "Bum Reviews".

Frozen Essence

Author: VenusEclipse

Availability: Free, Download

Format: Visual Novel

Genre: Fantasy

Rating: Teen

My Scores: (Art:3.5, Writing:3.5, Gameplay: 2) out of 5

Found at http://unbrokenhours.com/

A big Thank You to Anviel for suggesting this. :) Ray mentioned it too, though I didn't see that comment until after this post was written. Thanks anyway, Dude!

Summary:

In Frozen Essence, you play a girl named Mina/InsertNameHere. You've spent the last 1,000 years sealed away, and during that time, you've completely forgotten who you are. Now somebody's broken you out, other people are chasing you, and you have no idea why any of this is happening.

Review:

The Writing:

I've been very ambivalent about what kind of score to give the writing, so take the number up there with a grain of salt. First of all, let me just say that I'm a sucker for original worlds. The drawback of such settings, however, is that they tend to require a ton of exposition, which the reader/player may not enjoy.

The story itself, while interesting, is hard to follow on the first run-through. You spend much of the game not knowing who anyone is, what's going on or why, and your character is in the same boat. So, points are given for immersion, I guess, but then taken away for the hinderance to comprehensibility. What makes it worse is the English. I'm guessing that the author is not a native English speaker, based on the strength of the substance but the weakness of the form. Like Requiem of the Abyss, imagine taking a good book; only this time, instead of running it through Babelfish, chop it up to make a nice salad. It makes an already mysterious story even harder to keep up with. After my first play-through, I was ready to give it a 2.

That said, the game becomes immensely more enjoyable on replay. The background is solid (minus a minor inconsistency about whether the East is the Earth region or the Air region), and there's a kind of thrill from catching a subtle reference that you missed or didn't understand the first time around. The more endings you get, the more you understand the world you're in, and the more satisfaction you get from the story.

Be forewarned, though, this story is long! It puts the "novel" in Visual Novel. One thing that annoyed me slightly about the game was the way the endings would seem to be drawing to a close...and then the story would continue. This cycle would repeat a few times until I was practically shouting "SOMEONE KILL HIM, ALREADY!"

The Art:

Bonus points to the creator for composing music instead of just yanking something off the "free music" shelf. Not only is it a nice touch of effort, but it's one that paid off. It captures the story perfectly. When someone walked in while I was playing this and asked what tone of story it was, (Drama? Comedy?), I replied, "Just...listen to the music. It's exactly what the music sounds like."

The backgrounds and special pictures were very lovely. However, the effect was ruined as soon as I saw Rune. The characters, while not bad, are sometimes a little wonky. I almost feel bad saying that, though, since it's clear that a lot of effort was put in. The art is anime/manga style, as seems to be usual for Visual Novels, and it's worth mentioning how deceptively difficult that style actually is; though stylized, it still requires a firm basis in real human anatomy, and is far less forgiving than most western cartooning styles.

There are quite a number of poses and backgrounds, though occasionally, it's obvious that a backdrop has been recycled. All in all, I think the most egregious flaw in the art (and I use the broader definition of "art" in this review) is the "Thwap" sound effect. It often sounds like people are randomly hitting Mina, themselves, and each other. What's really hilarious is the way Oryon keeps slapping himself during battle, due to an unfortunate combination of the "thwap" and a hand-clutching-chest pose.

The Gameplay:

The game is easily divided into two parts. Part one has you choosing your suitor, and part two has you playing out that character's ending. Part two has a bit more of a Kinetic Novel feel than part one -- lots of reading, with very little interaction. However, the level of interaction in either part leaves something to be desired.

Much of the initial interaction basically boils down to dialogue trees, and you explore each branch in order to get the exposition I mentioned in the Writing section. For the other interactions, it tends to be immediately obvious when you've chosen a "wrong" answer (e.g., you make Rune leave in a huff), which causes me to simply reload and choose a different track instead of exploring to see how the story unfolds with that choice in effect. (On the other hand, this may be better than simply making a character "unwinnable" without telling you, so take that as you will.)

There's also a sense of "railroad tracks" in the game, which rather annoyed me. It's one thing to have a series of events that must always happen, but it's another thing to "override" the player's choices. I outright hated when my choosing "Tell The Truth" resulted in something to the effect of "Oops, Telling the Truth sucks. I'll lie instead!" If you were going to have her lie anyway, then why even ask me?!

TLDR Version:

To sum it all up, Frozen Essence has a number of strengths and weaknesses. It benefits immensly from Multiple play-throughs, and the Death ending is easily the most fun and cathartic after you've gotten the other endings and seen the crap these people put Mina through. It could definitely be much improved with a good proofreading by a native English speaker, though. All in all, I think this piece shows some excellent potential, and I look forward to any future works from this author. Also, the Water path definitely did not make me cry. Not even a little bit. ...I need a tissue.

Fatal Hearts

Author: ?

Availability: Demo/$9.95 Full Version, Download

Format: Visual Novel

Genre: Thriller

Rating: Teen

My Scores: 2 out of 5 ( Writing: 2, Art: 4, Gameplay: 1)

Found at http://www.hanakogames.com

Summary:

In Fatal Hearts, you play a teenage girl named Christina. Her friend's parents are acting weird, girls are getting murdered, and she keeps dreaming about a strange guy. Can you solve the puzzles, find love and not die?

Review:

I have to admit that I didn't get very far in this game. In what little I have seen, the writing seems to run the gamut from okay, to cheesy, to "What the heck was the author thinking?!". The first line that gave me pause was a comment by the narrator that her mother doesn't let her wear makeup, which is "probably why I still don't have a boyfriend." ...Honey, that is not how love is supposed to work. But okay, we're in the first-person perspective of a teenager here; I suppose I can accept that she's a little bit stupid about these sorts of things. But then, we come to another scene that just breaks my suspension of disbelief in terms of sheer stupidity...

Picture this:

Last night, your friend ditched you and went off with some complete strangers. This morning, you get a call saying that someone was found dead at the place you last saw her. You are now worried that your friend may have been killed. At this point, your mother comes right up to you and, not knowing about the call, asks you if you would like a ride to some place. How do you repond?

A: Tell her that you don't want to go right now because you're worried about your friend's safety.

B: Say "Mom! Thank goodness you're here!" then tell her about your friend and ask her for help.

C: Say NOTHING AT ALL to the adult standing right in front of you, and handle it yourself, even though a violent, federal crime is involved.

If you guessed anything except C, you are smarter than our protagonist. I mean seriously, what the crap?! I could buy leaving Mom out of the loop if she was gone and you didn't want to call and bother her, but when she's Standing Right There and asking you something? That is the epitome of stupid. It might be more palatable if there were at least an option for telling her, so that then we could just blame the player. But no, talking to the adult doesn't even cross our makeup-obsessed teen's mind.

So enough about the writing, then: On to the art! The art is decent and anime/manga style. I have nothing more to say about the art. Moving on, then:

I hate the game play. Words cannot express my utter loathing for it! Any attempts would probably include the words "vomit" and "bowels" and "ripping it to shreds and then setting it on fire." Readers of my earlier posts might have picked up on my slight dislike of minigames. Well, in Fatal Hearts, every chapter has one, and they are necessary to advance through the game. These "puzzles" range from "annoying" to "impossible and annoying". The first one is reminiscent of the Gemini minigame from Wonderland Sim Date: move annoying crap out of your way. That's it; there's no mental challenge at work, just lots of click-and-drag. At the other end of the spectrum is the puzzle that frustrated me so much that I finally just quit the game altogether:

You have stumbled across a dead body, and need to run away before the police see you. (Yeah, this part just cemented for me that the protagonist is an idiot since, given that she'd just arrived and hadn't touched anything, even a cursory crime-scene investigation would clear her almost immediately.) But anyway, you have to guide Christina through a maze of bushes, keeping the bushes between you and the cop at all times. If the cop sees you, she will move toward you, and she can move twice as fast as you can. This puzzle is probably doable and there's probably a walkthrough online detailing a long and complicated series of back-looping paths, but I don't care enough to look. What really grates my cheese about it though, is that after I lose this puzzle, I don't get taken to a Bad End or a story that branches from me being caught; I get "Oh, you've lost. Here, let's just reset that puzzle for you:" and my agony begins anew. What's more, there is no "Skip Puzzle" button, just me losing and losing until I finally chuck the computer out of a second-story window.

In summary, this is the worst commercial game I have ever played. The art is the only real redeeming quality, but considering that they're charging money for this thing, the art had better be decent. I consider this the commercial equivalent of Dating Sim Academy, with the notation that at least DSA was free and I could finish it! (note: The author of DSA has done better games, some of which I've discussed on this blog, so I feel justified in continually tearing it.)

Now, as usual, there is room for disagreement. Maybe you have more taste for puzzles than I do, and maybe your suspension of disbelief is stronger, or you can justify the protagonist's actions. I can't. I hate this game. But, feel free to try it out and share your thoughts in the comments.